F.O.G. Lifter ~ And the Paradigm of Pushing Through

F.O.G. Lifter ~ And the Paradigm of Pushing Through

Back in the day, when I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, there was, {still is} a coffee shoppe known as Peet’s. It franchised after awhile, as all good things seem to do. In those years, we, my sangha and I, stayed up late working on projects for our Teacher. Coffee was a THING… if you know what I mean.

A favorite flavor, only to be found from Peets, was FOG Lifter. Obvious reference to the fogs that frequent the bay aside, this was a favorite with many because of its strength, and the power to lift one out of any perceived state of exhaustion, within minutes of imbibing. Between our day jobs, work for our organization, and our foundational practices, there were many moments of depletion. Many opportunities and reasons to want to be pushed through the FOG.

FOG Lifter helped with them all. But what happens when the F.O.G. has another source entirely? Fear, Obligation, and Guilt both run and ruin many lives. What is the root cause of this type of F.O.G.? It begins with a conditioned state of obligation. All. The. Shoulds. All the things we were taught, conditioned to expect, project, and feel. The largest source of this type of F.O.G. is family… blood or otherwise.

“This is the way we do things,” is one root tendril. “This is the way life is,” is another. “This is what we expect of you…” and the stakes get higher, especially the one being oh, so carefully, driven into our hearts.

Families are not “the problem,” per se. We choose our families in order to learn, and for the bloodlines they carry. We knew what we were getting ourselves into, no matter how much we might deny that at the conscious level. What we forget, is that we chose our lessons, our allies, in our quest to learn, not to become like them, but to transcend the obvious limitations they show us.

Step one is that we allow ourselves to be conditioned by those we grow up with. This process is inevitable, and being angry about it only perpetuates the problem. What we focus on, we become.

Need an example? “Dad/Mum was horrible and angry and I will NOT be like that!” So, the first level of conditioning is that we carry those anger patterns in our DNA. Then we create reactive patterns to push our DNA patterns into a covert, box-like place, and act otherwise. But do we? Anyone can tell you the answer to that. What we push down and cover up always comes out sideways. Every time.

Mum was manipulative? So are we at some level. We can unlearn those patterns, clear them, AND the reactive patterns laced over and through them as coping mechanisms and workarounds. Why do this? If we want to have clarity in life, we must stop looking through our conditioned filters, chosen or otherwise.

It is that simple.
Source is the simplest of all.


But, how do we do this clearing? There are many techniques that work well. The most important thing is to find one that works for you and have at it! Procrastination solves nothing. Hiding is worse. Why? Because EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE can see what it is we are trying to hide. When we filter in this way, we put our own hands over our own eyes, and, like a five year old, carry on as if “No one can see me!”

I used to play a game with one of my uncles, when I was about three years old. Remember peek-a-boo? This was different. It was more like hide in plain sight. I would throw my favorite little blue blankie over my head and curl up in a ball on the floor. My uncle, then had to pretend not to know I was there. Except that at some random point he would tickle me and the game was up.

I felt no obligation to play this game with him and no fear. We loved one another. BUT, there are other games that create F.O.G. between us, aren’t there? Or, did this one teach me that to be loved I had to hide? Maybe. Maybe not. It is these power games that need to stop when we choose to awaken. Did I have the power or did he? It depends on perspective, does it not?

How to stop rolling with the power punches? First, be honest with yourself about how you feel. Yes, feel. Thinking has nothing to do with the solution. First, acknowledge your true feelings. When/if “guilt” is the first one, you have just encountered conditioning’s greatest weapon. Guilt is not a real emotion. Did you know? Guilt is a static state of mind that tells us what we are really feeling is not permissible, not allowed, not okay in any way, shape, or form. So, we s/mother our true feelings with guilt. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way…” because we have had our feelings made wrong by some kind of conditioning.

1) Acknowledge true feelings.

2) Accept those feelings, no matter what you were taught about them.

3) Ask for help from Source to let your feelings move through your bodies, out and on. No need to hold them. Feelings are meant to move.

4) Now, how do you feel? What caused the suppression? Guilt is not the answer. Did you notice it is the LAST letter in F.O.G.? Fear and/or Obligation are always the culprit causes.

5) Ask for help if you need it. Where do I feel obligated? Why? And, when your conditioned personality tells you you have no choice… tell it to piss off! No choice? On this world? You’re joking me!

There. Is. Always. A. Choice.

6) When you know what your true feelings are, have let them move, and have seen into what the obligation is, it is time to look at the root cause. If you change this pattern, become responsive rather than reactive, what dire consequences will come to pass? Your worst fears will tell you.

“If I let go of obligation and guilt then….{Be aware of the good stuff first. It will make the horrors easier to observe.} So what would be so terrible? You might actually live your own life and not someone else’s idea of what that ought to be?

The most common denial or lack of dealing with F.O.G. is around the concept of hurting someone else. ‘I’ll hurt so-and-so’s feelings…I’ll break a family member’s heart.” You only believe that because you were taught to believe it so.

No one can truly break anyone else’s heart. There is always mutual consent in such a wounding.


Whole Hearts Also Bleed…it might be time to stop the triage.

However you experience F.O.G. in your life, remember that clarity is a heartbeat away. If someone else tells you that an action of yours will break their heart, or that is “understood,” then there is no true understanding between you, only transactional relating. Tit for tat. ‘Dis for ‘dat. This is not whole-hearted love, no matter how you slice it.

What if F.O.G. could be sliced through in a way that did not require a massive hit of caffeinated beverage? {No matter how much we might like the stuff.} LIGHT does a better job. Divine love is the key that opens every door, lifts all veils, and shatters all filters.

Hey, don’t believe me, try it for yourself. If you were afloat in Divine Love, what would you be feeling? Would the F.O.G. have any relevance at all? Your answers will shape the next steps on your journey.

Choose them with self care. The biggest waves are arriving…have arrived…are continuing to wash us onto wider shores. Don’t let the F.O.G. hide your best opportunities from you. Don’t let it dampen and drown what you came in to be/have/experience.

Lost in the fog is only fun when nature provides it… for awhile…until clarity beckons and the sun comes out.

SHE has been waving madly for some time now. If only we will choose clarity and see.

~ Namaste ~