Equinox Meditation ~

Equinox Meditation ~

The meditation began much like any other. I asked everyone to take a few deep, conscious breaths, relaxing and deepening in. The beach visit, earlier in the day, had not gone the way it might have done. People became chatty on the way there, abandoning our intent for Silence. As the intensity increased, the chattiness and egoic acting out did as well. It was one of those moments. So many beaches, so many moments of total dissolution available. So many ignored gifts from Source.

Not everyone had forgotten. As I sat on the beach, listening to the surf, changing location when the energy pulled me, I noticed one person playing in the sand here, one dashing into the waves there, others finding places to sit or lie down and soak up the available Shakti. Then the sun went in, and waves of “I’m cold, I’m hungry,” wafted across the sands. O.F.F.S. I thought, as I asked the sun if she would be so kind as to return for a bit.

A group of our retreatants had gathered near the stairs, and were socializing. The very thing that was bringing up ego I knew would later need to be addressed. It could all be let go, right here, right now. And yet, they chatted. Oblivious. And, so, I wandered to another outcropping of rock, embraced by the waves. Within its tide pools and crevices, lay treasures unfathomed. A brilliant mollusk here, a starfish or anemone there, sea urchins in unlikely places. And the shaping of the stone by the sea!? Gobsmacking, to say the least. And it was. not. time. to. leave.

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Divine timing is an art form. It takes patient listening, and, sometimes, a few weather-resistant layers to fend off wet or chill or other weathers of this world. And so, when it was TIME, I wandered up to the stairs and we gathered to depart.

Projections and conversations took various turns over our seafood picnic, so I knew something was ‘up.’ Sometimes SHE indicates I ought to remind and inform and instruct. Other times SHE lets lessons be learned as those who learn them choose. This was one of those times. An Equinox, no less, and where was the focus, the intention, the gratitude for HER gifts? Or perhaps I was not seeing clearly? It never hurts to check.

The after-lunch dispersal was quick and perfunctory. As I walked to my suite, I wondered what the evening meditation would hold. A short time from now and the alignment would be exact. Was this too much energy for some of them? Did they feel they’d had enough?

HER laughter followed me up the hill and I relaxed, ready to clean up and prepare for whatever was to come. My body had begun to quiver, so whatever it was, it was sure to be massive. SHE can handle anything, so I felt only joy in anticipation of HER presence among us. {Little did I know it would show up as a stuffed wombat, but I’m getting ahead of myself.}

The meditation began much like any other. I asked everyone to take a few deep, conscious breaths, relaxing and deepening in. As I did so, the download opened up. Increasing in intensity all day, it now changed form, from a pillar of upward pulsing light, to a download of such intense input I stopped breathing.

A tsunami of light engulfed me, pulling me in as it filled me up. Still. Oh, so still. An ocean on the move, in silence. I was held, breathless in golden light, as lifetimes, eons, cycles flashed past. I saw my own experiences and those of everyone around me. I saw a long-held dream of the conscious ring of twelve, with Source as its sacred-thirteen center. I saw it as it had manifested in the physical, by some of those who had originally dreamed it. This manifestation was sitting in front of me, and to either side, in the persons of the participants. One more dream manifested, with me as witness. As I perceived this, the tears began to fall. I could neither move nor speak.

Liquefying from the inside out, I felt and witnessed worlds being born and dissolving, possibilities lined up for the receiving, and HER light as the Source of it all. Awash in tears of gratitude, my body could neither move nor speak.

I could feel those around me beginning to shift uncomfortably, repositioning knees and hips, shuffling their feet, and stretching. A cyclone of mind chatter rose around me, but still I sat, embraced in golden light, unable to move a muscle. 

No voice. No mind. No eyes to open.  No identity. No reality. Only HER love and HER light.

When, at last, I managed to whisper, “Okay, relax. And when you’re ready, open your eyes,” I struggled to open mine. In the dim light, I wiped tears from my dampened cheeks. “So, what were you feeling?” I asked those present. “Some of you will have to talk about the meditation, because I cannot.”

I did not know why, until they began to speak. “That was really damn difficult,” said one. “So much mind chatter!” said another, the general consensus being that the morning’s clearing meditation had been great and this one? Well, this was not how a powerful alignment was supposed to feel! Everyone seemed overwhelmed, some more than others. They handled it well, these intrepid travelers, but it gave me pause.

Then, I heard myself begin to speak. “I don’t have…” I began, as I welled up again. “…enough words for thank you. Some of you will feel what I’m feeling. Some of you will not understand. If you take the time to feel into this, you will see that what came up for you is the piece of ego you most need to release at this time…One piece. This piece. And it can go completely, if you so choose.”

They looked at me, uncomprehending. Some distressed, some curious. The more experienced, breathing through their distress. I know I was glowing. There are some who can see. And yet, their minds were all about the process, not yet able to grasp, or in resistance to, what was right there…available. Not yet ready for what they can be. And so, I wept again, in joy at what rushed through me, and in sadness at the blindness caused by the illusions of this world.

They will see when they see. They will know when they know. And, until then, we will love them, SHE and I…from that Oneness which has not yet left me and may never leave again.

Blessings to all who participated and to all who still dream. Blessings from the Oneness. Blessings of HER love.

The intensity will rise between now and the Solstice in December. Ride well, beloveds. And, if you are ready, let HER all. the. way. in. No withholds, no holdouts, no resistance, no fear. There are worlds to be born under your footsteps. SHE will meet you there.

As Love,
Nalini

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