Grounded on Ego v. Grounded on Source ~

Grounded on Ego v. Grounded on Source ~

We are conditioned, as children, to ground on the ego. This means grounding on what we believe our identity to be. We learn this by entrainment, meaning we frequency-match what our parents do that we perceive works, or doesn’t. We observe how our caregivers function and build our foundations accordingly. The ego wants what it wants. It either demands or sacrifices those wants, according to how much either of these behaviors benefits it at the time. In this way, the ego becomes a master at transactional relating with all of life. Source does no such thing.

The more we ground on Source, the more our ego has no choice but to dissolve.

Egos do not evolve, they must dissolve.

Egoic grounding is based upon a double bind or deadly embrace of entitlement and abasement . Think of it as an egoic bubble whose base rests on this polarity: Entitlement and Abasement . The symbol of a circle with a line drawn under it works for this. In Egypt, this symbol was called the “Shen” ring. It symbolized eternal protection. The energetic structure represents a protected space within which one can function safely… meaning, in this case, the ego.

These structures must crumble ,when one contemplates being awake or enlightened.

Common conscious or unconscious belief: If enlightenment dissolves this structure, I won’t get to do/be/have what I want, therefore why would I surrender it into Source? This belief creates a holdout. We withhold a part of our essence from Source.

Food for contemplation: Does this egoic structure get to do/be/have what it wants now? Or is reward conditional on how the paradigm functions? Put another way, does this behavior really get you what you want? Or is it a negotiated truce in a battle which can’t be won?

There are no winners in transactional relating. Everyone is simultaneously deprived and owing. The score card tells the whole story. Its purpose? To allegedly get us what we want, whilst killing our Spirits.

Example: I do what others want, or make some kind of sacrifice so that others get what they want, which counts on the scorecard as putting my own ego aside. Therefore I am entitled to do/be/have what I want in the next round because I am now owed. This is the paradigm in a nutshell.

Abasement is only the flip side of overt entitlement. Say you’re a “people-pleaser.” You have embraced the doormat position {my wants/needs come last} only because there is logic conditioned into your personality that tells you this will get you what you want. Most people will argue for it. They are keeping the peace, sacrificing for team harmony, taking care of the family, or whatever. This is how they have learned to get what they want. But do they? Or, are these people not constantly stressed and frequently miserable?

Do you long to escape some part of your life? Why? And what is the price it exacts that makes you feel entitled to then have the things you want? Is that why you hold on?

I worked with a guy once, who said, “I’m a good husband and father. I provide for my family. They want for nothing. Therefore, I’m entitled to some strange ass once in awhile.” I asked him how we would feel if his wife felt the same way. “I’d break her face,” was his reply. Double binds come with double standards. What do you do, that you would “break your partner’s face” for? Or, is there another way?

How many of us have stated “I do things I don’t like because it gets me what I want?”

That logic only spins the web of this structure more tightly until we can’t move for strangling. Many people’s inflammatory conditions and histamine reactions come from this feeling of being imprisoned in a toxic web. The body reacts by trying to burn out or hose down the offending energies. Usually both.

Egoic grounding starts early. We begin to learn it in utero and the seeds sprout from there.

Take the example of a five-year-old. “I’m not hungry right now. “There is a meal on the table in front of the child who has been complaining of being hungry for ‘hours.’ . Child is told to “at least take one bite.” Child either throws a tantrum {which children seem to get to do overtly when most adults only wish they could} or takes the one bite. Child knows s/he will be hungry again in a little while but ignores parent saying that there will be no food between mealtimes. That information does not compute with the child’s learned entitled relating.

{How many of us have given a ‘child’ something, only to shut them up? How do you do that to/for yourself?}

A few minutes later, as the meal is being cleared away. the child pops back up to the table and points to what it wants. “Use your words” applies to the five-year-old within us all. So, one parent says, “No. You heard me. You eat while at the table. You chose to get up and now there will be no more food until the next meal.” The other parent, to whom the child immediately runs, tantrum about to be unleashed, says “Oh, you’re still hungry, okay…” This is triangulation. Transactional relating at its most manipulative.

Notice what this example makes you feel. Those feelings will lead you to the inner tantrum-throwing toddler that has you in its power.

Deprived Child: Oh, the poor thing!
Wounded Child: See? No one loves me or cares what I want no matter what…
Entitled Child: I want ‘that,’ so I should have it! {list of justifications is logic, learned later}

Give me what I want and I’ll let you have what you want, or, Give me what I want or I’ll make you sorry! When put this way, the energetic blackmail is easy to see. Why do we put up with it?

Under each of these emotional pathologies is an inherent sense of unworthiness, feeding and fed by a sense of entitlement. The abasement side of the foundation tells us we don’t deserve, we are unworthy, we are somehow incompetent, have to work harder than others, etc. The entitled side tells us that, as hard as we work, as much as we ‘do’, we deserve to be given to or to take what we want.

The tighter this loop the worse it feels, and the more our inner tantrums act out. Most of this is unconscious. That is not the good news! We are raised to believe that if we are not consciously acting out, we are doing well, or at least better than most. Therefore, you guessed it, we are entitled to be rewarded for good behavior even though, under the bonnet, the hornets stir.

Unconscious tantrums are every bit as damaging as conscious ones, both to the one throwing and to the target. How much energy is spent in this way? A fun exercise is to visualize the inner bathroom scale whose gauge points to energy expenditure. How much of the light that you are, do you spend maintaining this entitlement paradigm? Does that percentage seem reasonable? Practical? Even if you have no desire to wake up, it is an incredible waste of resources. Wouldn’t you want to consider tapping those in another way?

Gaia’s rising vibrations will make this necessary. It will be easier for you if you go with the rising tides.

If you feel you want to continue to live in this old, egoically based way, because it seems to work for you, or because you see no way out, think again. This bind is only growing tighter and tighter, more and more constructing, as Gaia’s frequencies soar.

The egoic foundation of entitlement/abasement pulls your vibration down to its level. You feel yoked to it, yet it only has the power you bestow upon it. You give it power. You can choose to stop.

Being yoked by Source, loosely translated from the word ‘yoga,’ which means union, is not an enslaved condition. It is the ultimate freedom from binds like this one.

Common Misperception: If I become enlightened, I won’t get to do/be/have what I want. Source will dictate everything and I will be miserable. This is what egoic-abasement feels like, not enlightenment. It is a fear woven from the old paradigm.

Truth: When we let Source run the show, life is easier. It is a huge and all-encompassing relief and release. SHE knows what we love. SHE knows what matters. These things will manifest, though typically not in the way we might have imagined, or chosen. Our manifestations will be better.

The transition can be a little rocky, depending on our holdouts and how long they persist. Holdouts are like the bags of ballast tethering a hot air balloon to the ground. If we only cut loose a few, the balloon’s rise will be skewed toward the ballast…until we release the holdouts.

The choice is ours. We can choose to release this egoic foundation from our minds and bodies, our awareness and our DNA. First, we choose. Then, we fashion an intent. Next, we decide to vibrate in alignment with this intent going forward. Finally, we commit to this course and to taking actions that are guided by Source… and no others.

{Not brushing one’s teeth doesn’t count. Enter the five-year-old. Maintenance is maintenance.}

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As our programs dissolve, our mirrors become clear windows of perception. We see life as it is. Amazing, and filled with Infinite Possibilities.

What will we play next?

~ Namste ~