Plumbing the Depths of Feeling ~

Plumbing the Depths of Feeling ~

Before you roll your eyes and ignore this, or save it for when you have a glass of something in hand…know that the way to clarity is through the heart.

Sometimes the heartache we try to avoid is the catalyst that takes us to a higher level of feeling.

Today I watched The Notebook for the first time. I know, I’m a Martian. I had never seen it and needed something in the background while I ploughed through a pile of editing. The film seemed to highlight, along with the tear-jerking Hollywood agenda from which I remained thankfully immune, how painful and yet powerful love can be.

As the pain of how much we love is part of what is churning up at the moment, I thought to write about it.

There is an ocean of grief to be traversed as we awaken. As sensitives, as streaming beings of love-light, we come into this world with no comprehension that what we know love to be could possibly become so distorted, twisted, and subverted into misery. We grieve this condition early and we grieve it long.

We are conditioned to take on and to carry the “grief of the world” in our emotional and physical bodies. We receive this conditioning through genetic inheritance, familial imprinting and social norms. Women, in particular, and also the “feminine” in men, are heavily programmed to take on this grief and carry it.

You have, perhaps, heard of “emotional weight”? Many of our overweight or over-burdened conditions have to do with carrying the weight of excess emotions, most of them not our own.

As we dissolve our egoic programming and conditioning, the iceberg of our unconscious starts to rise above the surface of the world’s collective seas. As this happens, we are confronted with the “ocean of grief” we carry as part of our unconscious and subconscious patterns and in our emotional bodies. Global warming is not the only culprit in rising coastal waters!

The way out of the churning emotional waters is, like it or not, through them. As we meditate, and the grief moves through us, we first have to recognize what is happening. “There is grief moving through me/my body.” Next, we need to be as still as possible, open our hearts to Source and let HER open us to the feelings pouring through. No one ever wants to do this. No one ever wakes up without getting through this.

This can’t be saved for “next time,” or some other year or lifetime. Every time it comes back around it comes stronger. The longer one waits, the more feelings there are to move. Best to get on with it when it begins. the “ocean of grief” feels endless. It feels as though we will drown and be swallowed up forever in endless grief. This is not so. The grief is finite. Knowing that got me through. Perhaps it will help you as well.

As we become still and let the grief move, we appear to sink deeper in. Using the image or metaphor of the ocean can help. As the feelings threaten to overwhelm, let yourself sink deeper. Eventually you will touch bottom. And then, something amazing happens.

When I was a little girl, I used to swim to the bottom of the pool, all the way at the farthest edge of the deep end. I loved the light moving through the water above me. I loved the stillness. I loved the peace. And, I learned a lot about breath control, as a side effect! ;)

When you touch bottom in the “ocean of grief”, the bottom opens up and you fall through in a rain of sand and starlight. Before this happens, however, the waters will seem to overwhelm you. Everything goes darker and darker until you surrender. {Hint: Surrender early!} When you surrender to HER process, you will observe that the waters recede, dry up, or seem to disappear. What was underneath this ocean that was never yours to carry, was always a quiet ecstasy. Peace. Forgiveness. Joy. LIGHT.

Once fully traversed, the “ocean of grief” never affects you the same way again. You can view the immersion of others with both compassion and dispassion, understanding the illusion and the pain. There will no longer be any need for you to carry that weight in your bodies, ever again. You will be able to look on with love and laughter, encouraging others to make the crossing, or simply observing as they find their way.

Wallowing in grief, or other so-called negative emotions, serves no one, least of all yourself. The way through this crossing, this churning before the Equinox window, is to feel deeply, whilst letting go.

Where do you feel grief? Remorse? Anguish? Where do you lack self-forgiveness? This is what weighs you down and keeps your life from taking off in magical directions. This is what is up for clearing in each of us and in the collective. Carrying the collective is not your responsibility. Never was. Never will be. No one’s collective, not even your family’s. Especially not theirs. Trust me on this.

Planetary energies are transitioning, regardless of anyone’s evolution, experience, or endurance levels. You have all three.

What are you waiting for?

serenity-is-not-freedom-from-the-storm-but-peace-amid-the-storm.jpg

And if you need an encouraging hand, a laugh to get you through… I’m here waiting.

Love
Nalini