The Subtle Persuasion of Dissonance ~

The Subtle Persuasion of Dissonance ~

A friend once said to me, "The harmony you want in relationship doesn't exist." I grinned at her, while everything in me disagreed. I know that harmony. I know it through and through.

Dissonance is not meant to be something we accustom ourselves to or learn to like. Dissonance is a call to set our sights higher. It is the pre-performance signal from the concertmaster to tune up.

Dissonance is not always a complete lack of harmony. It can be a vibration that is just a little bit off, something that is just slightly off-key. When I sang in choirs it used to grate on my nerves when some of the singers were a quarter-tone flat. Not quite off-key but not on true pitch either. Not everyone could tell. Not everyone's ears could hear the subtle distortion. Me, it made a little crazy. And, not being the choirmaster, I learned first to tolerate the vibration, then to ignore it.

Dissonance is often something we tell ourselves is okay and persuade ourselves, or are persuaded by others, to accept. Something that, if we are true to the touchstone within, we would avoid, turn away from or grow beyond. 

Variations in vibration are reality. When we speak about honoring diversity we are speaking about honoring diverse vibrations. So, how does dissonance come into play when what we want is harmony and what we know is possible is clarity of form and function?

The vibration I'm talking about is the experience of life that is just slightly out of focus. We all know the relief of adjusting a lens or viewfinder back and forth to just the right level of clarity for our eyes. Then, we put our glasses on and have to do it again! Or vice versa. The brain relaxes, The eyes perceive clearly. It feels exactly right for us. We can proceed with our experience of life in comfort and clarity.

Then there are the obvious signs that do not resonate. We feel totally foggy, distorted, and basically terrible. We want to run, hide...anything to escape. Subtle dissonance lies between these realms.

One of the ways I notice this is when I feel like I've just been doused in wet cement. We all know the feeling of being hit by a truckload of falling cinder block. This is more subtle. It isn't exactly foggy or distorted...except that it is. It isn't painful, except that it is not exactly tolerable.  It is not the feeling of drying cement freezing us in place. It is the feeling of moving through the day wearing something way too big and slow and heavy for us, or perhaps something way too frazzled and too fast. So we compensate. We make adjustments in our bodies and minds to course-correct. And all the while consciousness is telling us "Change this! Not optimal! Danger, Wil Robinson!"  

Super-Eruption-2011-Movie-6.jpg

This thing's like wearing a car!

The above image is from the 1997 film Volcano. Two seismic geologists defy local authorities to investigate an anomaly that everyone is saying is 'normal' and turns out to be disastrous {depending on one's point of view... a volcano in downtown LA? Cool!}. Ever feel like this when navigating through your day?

I felt like this for awhile today. I only managed about two hours of sleep, due to an early airport excursion, had two appointments just after returning from same, and both of these sessions dealt with 'beginner' subject matter. Nothing wrong with beginners. DEFINITELY nothing wrong with 'beginners' mind'. Why did I feel so heavy and strange?

I wondered about it whilst showering, meditating and attempting to clear my physical body before taking a much-needed nap. {not so successful on that last... but sleeping did help}

I realized that I got up this morning in a vastly accelerated state of vibration. Then I needed to interface abruptly with the muggle world, like so many of us in our day-to-day. Adjustments had not been made. Upgraded buffering was not in place. I was not fully grounded in the needed resonance for today.

So, my physical body adjusted through habit rather than through resonance. It numbed itself 'down' a bit to better match the circumstances. When I opened wide up to do the two sessions this morning, that odd adjustment was still in place. Afterward, I felt even more out of phase with the peace, calm and clarity that is my 'normal'.

I wanted to give myself a good shake, like a wet woof. Didn't work, by the way. After my sleep-deprivation-induced nap, I felt what had occurred. Accelerated awareness meets slow-moving circumstances. Otherwise known as the 'quicksand effect'. It happens all the time and in subtle and pervasive ways.

"Quite the acceleration then," I said to Source. Her quiet smile reassured me as I reached for clarity.

You know this. You have observed it time and again. You deliver this message to others. Your body had not completed the download for its next upgrade and reverted to survival tactics.

"Please assist my body in the acceleration then!" I asked, careful to surrender any agendas as to how that might happen.

Where is your compassion?

"Ah. It was compassion for the requirements and timing of others that incepted the adjustment, yes? I must not have been compassionate enough. Is my heart not open enough?"

NO.

"Wow. Okay. That IS my choice. Total open-hearted transparency, and the truth of whatever that is, not what I would make it." I swear I felt the dunce cap plop on top of my head.

NO.

"No?" I took a few deep breaths, immersing my body in starlight. "I'm listening."

This was like a string breaking mid-concert. Out of tune happened before the day began.

The highest frequencies of truth rarely come into words before we experience the feeling of the realities they hold. My field had already been out of tune. That meant my physical body and the circumstances that support its health and well-being had been holding more dissonance than is optimal. My body and my circumstances were out of phase. I knew that.

And, this morning, the resonance that I needed pulsed through my physical body while the extended circumstances that surround it had not yet shifted to dance to this new tune.

This is life in transition, we could say. These phasings in and out of new vibration. We become accustomed to these shifts.

As I sat with this, I felt how this physical circumstance feels, now that some of those who have been living here have left. I felt each and every shift in awareness through all of the comings and goings of the past two years. I watched the morphs as though they had been a teaching video.

I knew that. I had been aware. I had been curious to see what I would feel with this last round of ebb and flow. How might it feel to be physically 'alone' in this space? The existing configuration, in all of its variations, held both a buffering and a distortion.

Buffering, as when two or more beings of light collaborate, the light that is held between them grows exponentially. The dream protects the dreamers. More light to play with.

Distortion, because the field shared in common in the physical had been designed to support certain frequencies and was being inhabited by others. Incompatible? Not necessarily. "In the world but not of it?" What world? Which reality when infinite possibilities exist?

I observed the attempted power game being projected toward me by another who must feel threatened by a vibration that feels unfamiliar. I felt the reluctance to let my field expand and do what must be done, regardless of what that might be.

I have had this conversation with so many, over the years. The wistful "there's a place for us... somewhere a place for us" refrain that runs through the sensitives on this world. The urge, not to merge, but to "go out from among them" and ... what? We need our sanctuaries. We need our places of refuge, whoever that 'we' might be. Physical separation is not the answer, though it can certainly help. Honoring resonance always is.

As part of this experiment, I pulled my awareness way back. Part of learning to let fly and let flow is also to let go. And so the disparate realities in this little microcosm have held both alight buffering of light and a subtle dissonance. Don't they all? Isn't resonance what we are here to learn about and from?

Not all worlds hold this range of diverse frequencies. Gaia has been more than accommodating. Most worlds are much more homogenous. We long for that and yet desire to experience 'this'. What funny, curious beings we are!

The 'this' felt today was, on further observation, like a net, seeking to hold consciousness at 'safe' levels. Safe for whom? For what frequencies?

CHOOSE.

"??"

Choose light. Choose acceleration. Choose as you have always chosen and do not hold or look back. Leave everything else...

"Waaaait a minute!" I felt the voices crying out not to be left behind. Only I know differently. This knowing comes from another place.

I know there is no 'behind' for anyone or anything to be 'left' in. I know there are infinite permutations of reality in each and every circumstance. I know that resonance determines our experience of everything.

So, walk it. Let infinite compassion hold you and everyone and everything else in appropriate tuning and leave every bit of it in MY capable embrace. Leave YOU in MY care... or perhaps you hadn't gotten the message?

"As always, Mum," I replied, my sense of humour beginning to return. "This adjustment is quite the thing."

Wishing you well on your phasing adventure.
~Nalini