We Put Up With What We Grow Up With

We Put Up With What We Grow Up With

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow… I’ve always loved that quote.  Forgive me. 

There is a shift happening within the windows of this world that bears a bit of attention, or so SHE says.

We put up with what we grow up with…

Tony Robbins puts it this way (yes, I’m actually quoting him which just goes to show, never say never) drudge.

Here is how this works. You might have grown up with your Mum telling you you could do no wrong… infinite praise (or the opposite, infinite criticism… that was my flavor). So throughout your life you will not tolerate any other kind of feedback. If you received praise, you only tolerate praise. Your ego will not hear anything else and defends, even to the point of violence, against all other input. 

If you received constant criticism, you do the same. Your ego will not hear anything else and defends, even to the point of violence, against positive input.

The years we spend letting go of, calving, shedding and releasing our ‘family of origin’ conditioning empties the contents of this barrel but does not fully eradicate it. In other words, the template stays with us. Our egos, until they are fully clear and free, (and I will let you know if I meet one that is complete) maintain this barrel, or template or scaffold, yearning for it to be fulfilled and completed. The opposite is also true. Thus, the entitled male energies that are only programmed to receive praise from Mum but secretly yearn for a good dressing-down from Nanny. Also the constantly berated Princess, the Cinderella, who tolerates being a drudge, physically, emotionally or energetically, because her secret yearning is to be the Princess at the ball. What our ego tells us is that this deadly embrace is real. We act out one side of it ~ whichever is most convenient at any moment. And we expect and project that this behaviour will earn us the rewards of the ‘other side’ whatever that might be.

Let’s use my old template as a further example. I came in with a strong program of reliance on HER, on Source. To further that agenda… and yes, well intentioned but an agenda nonetheless, I created parents who forced me into self-reliance. I knew it was SELF-reliance, even then, but my physical and emotional bodies took it as:

“I have to put up with physical, emotional and energetic support that is actually toxic to my being but it is what is available, and I designed this scenario anyway, so I have to live this way. “

The ego then made me hear something like “LaLaLaLaLa” whenever any other information appeared. That was as an infant, toddler and tween.  

As my awareness grew in my bodies, I began to see a pattern that I did not recognize for many years. I would attract loving, wonderful, light-filled beings (people and places included) only to have the support turn to crumbs and ashes. You know what I mean. I ended up financially, energetically and emotionally supporting every single person close to me in every single relationship of every kind. I meditated on this pattern, once I saw its entirety. I was shown a little angel (oh, how cute and pathetic of me) with her head in her hands, sitting on a tiny little pile of brilliant gold, weeping. Next to her was a HUGE wall. Behind it were piles, seas, starfields of infinite resources. She knew they were ‘hers’ but could not access them. There was a tiny little cash-window in that HUGE wall that had no one behind it. She had to beg inwardly for anyone to show up to hand her her allotted pittance. Dismal, yes?  And SO not what I had originally signed up for…

Except that this was what my intentions designed… because there were other egos, other lessons to learn and other energies in play. My fault? No. My responsibility? Yes. The same applies to you. 

The technical structure of this deadly-embrace template was (and yes, I can finally use the past tense here) that ‘I’ constructed a wall to hold out the worst of the toxicity because I knew my bodies would never survive it (Angels are immensely strong and immensely sensitive) and I attracted support that was perfect at its onset but turned just toxic enough to stay on the other side of that wall “just in case” so that only tiny threads of the real love and support I am designed to require would make it through the keyhole opening I allowed myself to receive through. Why? 

Because MY support was only supposed to come from support Herself, don’t you know. Nothing else was good enough for this misguided little angel… not so little, it turns out. But I knew that. So do you. Your true essence is immense. And it follows your intended outcomes on this world because here, up till summer of 2011, SHE ALWAYS SAID YES.

So here is a challenge for you, should you choose to accept it. Allow yourself to see YOUR big gnarly (little and silly) template that is holding you into an identity structure you never wanted, that does not serve you, that keeps you doing things that are now killing you, because the cycle has shifted, and LET THE WHOLE THING GO UP IN FLAMES.  

This template, this barrel, must be destroyed. There are some parts of the ego that simply must die. It is inevitable.

Are you ready. I had been for years… lifetimes even. It finally COMPLETED recently.  

Are you ready to be the love that leaving leaves behind? The benefit for you, oh shining ones, is that when you accept this, you are set up to receive the love and support you truly require as the being that you are… oh, you were supposed to only be here to give? Where do you think that comes from? 

~infinite, unreserved love,

Nalini